Recently, I lost a very good friend of mine. Mind you, he’s not a person. He is a cat, a cat that I had since the day he was born in October 2001. His name was Shadow. He was the best pet and friend I could ever ask for. I remember when he was little, he would try and follow me to school with all his brother and sister kittens, it was the cutest thing ever. Eventually, we had to give away all the kittens, as we couldn’t keep them all, but Shadow, he was different from the rest.
And the day he was the last one left, and someone wanted to take him away, I couldn’t let him go. So I told them, “I’m sorry, I decided to keep this one” and that was one of the best decisions of my life. From then on, Shadow and I’s relationship grew, he wasn’t like any cat. Shadow was Shadow, affectionate and always wanted to hug and cuddle up to someone. He even learnt to count with the whip of his tail, he understood certain commands and he was always there waiting for me whenever I got back from school or work.
But that’s all gone now, Shadow passed away when I was out of the country. He was very ill, so I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to him. It’s a bittersweet situation, but coming back and realising he’ll never be there again hit me more badly then I thought it would. This will be the first Christmas and New Years without him in 12 years. So this is my proper goodbye to him.
Recently I received a DSLR camera for Christmas and Shadow was most of my photo’s subjects. I won’t be able to have the chance to take a photo of him ever again, so I made this tribute to him, a photo of him and his grave that’s beside my house, the first photo from my new camera.
I miss you buddy and I always will. Rest In Peace.
So pretty much, the last two weeks have been amazing. Because I had finally met my boyfriend. We’ve been together for about 5 years, and when I mean together, not like literally. Because our relationship is online/long distance. I live in Australia and he lives in Spain. We do webcam and what not, so we are aware of how each other looks, talks and sounds. But now, seeing as how wishes become a reality, and it was the best 2 weeks of my life. To have someone love me, hold me, laugh with me, just enjoy moments of life together. And now we’re apart again, I’m back in Australia and it seems to be hard on me. Yeah, it’s been like what? 2 days since we’ve been apart. I feel like a overly attached girlfriend.. But no, in a way I’m different. To have spent 5 years not being with someone you love and then to finally meet. It just means I’m actually a human being who knows what it’s like to be truly in love with someone. To be honest, those 2 weeks felt like more to me, and now I wish it was for a little more. But I know my boyfriend will be leaving soon for Argentina. And yet, why do I feel so sad? Why is that, what we did before we met, at this point in time I cannot go back to. I can’t sleep, maybe because of jetlag, or maybe because it makes me sad he isn’t in the same room as me, the same country as me. The whole trip back seemed so sad to me, I felt so lonely and lost. I hate it, when I was with him I could see him all the time, talk to him all the time, hold him, kiss him, touch him. And now, it’s like gone back to certain parts of the day being able to talk to him. Just talk, nothing else, because it’s all we can do. Before I left, my sister was like, oh you’re not a physically type of relationship person. Perhaps I wasn’t back then, but truth to be told, it’s nice to have someone to love you physically. And now I experienced it, it hurts a bit to lose that feeling for a while. A year, or 2 or maybe even more. But I might get over it once I’m at home, going back to routine, having occupy myself. But I guess now I know this is the hard part of being in a long distance relationship. Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t regret any of it, not one bit at all. I know there is a lot of happy memories of what we did together in the short time we had, but it also makes me sad that I won’t be able to experience these happy things for a while now. All I want to do is cry, and I don’t understand why I’m so sad. We’re still together, just not together together. I don’t like being this way and I wish it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does. It makes me feel weak, having to want to cry all the time. Or at least the past couple of days. But I know I need to be strong, and that this is just a goodbye for now, not forever. I should focus of the future, my future. And if all goes well, I’ll be able to experience this happiness again. Which I know see as part of my goal in life. As much as I envy seeing other people with their partners being happy, I have my own special memories to hold dear to my heart, unique to everyone else and I can say, yes I am in a very happy relationship that I wouldn’t change for anything.
Thank you Victor, for everything, for making me happy, saying you’d make it the best 2 weeks of my life. Because you did and I can never thank you enough or tell you enough of how much I love you. I love you a lot and you mean so much to me and more, but you already know that. You are by far the best thing in my life, and I’m forever grateful you’re apart of it.
I can’t wait to see you again. ♡♡♡
(hoping now my mind is calm enough to fall asleep.. ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂ )
|Body:||Oh, guess what time of the month it is!|
|Me:||Please, god, no--|
|Ovaries:||ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!|
|Brain:||I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious|
|Me:||Please, guys, calm down--|
|Face:||TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.|
|Brain:||And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn|
|Torso:||Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO|
|Me:||STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!|
|Stomach:||lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!|
|Me:||I hate you all|
|Brain:||I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.|
|Face:||Lol, i'm not done yet.|
|Uterus:||what did i ever do to deserve this?|
|Brain:||you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.|
|Uterus:||You mother fuckers.|
|Me:||I quit being female, I am now a llama.|
There’s a shop called “Sox and Lox” where I get them from. http://www.soxnlox.com/style/Style_Detail.aspx?strStyleNo=TN2-023L-C4&strPage=7&strPNo=&strName=&strMC=-1&strSC=6&strSize=&strSneaker=false&strAnklet=false&strMidi=false&strLong=false&strKnee=false&strTights=false
Hi there! Sure I’d love to be penpals. :D